The ‘Uncommon’ Indian Elitist

SOURAV GANGULY – [sho-oo-rob gaan-goo-lee] – noun; Former Captain of the Indian Cricket Team. Most successful Indian Test Captain till date. Skipper of the Kolkata Knight Riders in Indian Premier League. Widely been held incompetent as a player and captain in between recurring periods of prolific playing streak. Lately, the second most popular subject of jeering by a section of Indians (after Shahrukh Khan) suffering from severe identity crisis and an abominable urge to be heard.

Dada has come a long way.

Yesterday, it was another one of those days when he stopped way short of expectations for a staunch fanbase – much to the delight of a ‘premium’ section of Indians.

Given my humble coding skills, here’s an attempt to chart the working algorithm behind these (premium) folks, here goes –

1. Start

2. Identify a/another domain of discussion

3. Am I any good at this domain? If yes, go to step 4 else (who cares?? also) go to step 4

4. Identify the most successful person/team/club/firm/artist in this domain.

5. Does the person/team/club/firm/artist derived in step 4 enjoy the largest fanbase around me? If yes, go to step 6 else go to step 4

6. Is there an overriding ‘oomph factor’ in going for an inferior person/team/club/firm/artist? If yes, go to step 7 else – there’s no way out, just take up and go to step 7

7. Am I now surrounded by a sizeable amount of people who can defend my allegiance to this person/team/club/firm/artist since I know (not much == nothing) about my new found ‘love’? If yes, go to step 8 else go to step 6

8. Start planting my fan status and derived opinions that can help heal my identity crisis and jeer anything that comes along the way.

9. Am I gaining enough mileage? If no, repeat steps 2 to 9 else go to step 10

10. I am now a ‘premium’ soul – let me bask in the glory!

11. Stop

One of these days, I hope to codify this into a ‘predictor’ – given the need for one, I might as well have found out the next sell-out.

And as for Dada –

Shaara jibon taai shey lorechhe.. korechhe.. aar jeetechhe; aashchhey shomoy, ta-paalte daewaar khomota kaaro-r moddhe dekhle-i jaanbo.. aabar phire pey-chhi Dada!”

Till then – to the ‘Uncommon Indian Elitist’ – Jog on!!

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